Let’s have a quick chat about fees. You slave away like a minion 40 hours a week diligently contributing your hard-earned moolah to your KiwiSaver (if you’re not contributing, here’s why you should be) so hopefully one day in the near future you might be able to join in the craze of purchasing some brick and mortar. And in the hopefully not too near future, you can enjoy a nice game of bingo with the other pensioners without having to worry about who’s paying for the tea and biscuits.
So you pop your cash away in your KiwiSaver and just leave it to grow right – right but sadly not all KiwiSavers schemes are created equal, some are run by greedy fucks. These bastards clip the ticket for choosing where to invest your cash and my god can it make a difference. Just take a look below, I did a quick comparison of KiwiSaver funds based on a 3% contribution and an annual salary of $48,800 (more or less the current median).
See what I mean, check out those fat bastards at the top, really creaming it of your sweat and tears. That percentage, by the way, is the percent of your total balance. I mean at 27.5% the Greediest of All the Fucks Award goes to Amanah – congratulations! The little boy at the bottom on the other hand, well those fees I can stomach.
When I first saw this I was like…
At the time I was with ANZ Growth Fund, so not the fattest of all the bastards but still pretty chubby, well boy did I high tail it out of there to sweet darling Simplicity. They were a breeze to sign up with (like seriously, it only took 5 minutes) and so far have had great returns on their funds.
You can only deal with them online (part of keeping their costs down I guess) so for the dinosaurs out there who need to be able to ring someone or go into a branch, this skinny muffin might not be for you.
So I bet now you’re keen to go check how much you’re being screwed, easy just pop here and compare.
PS. You can thank me later.
You can take a look at Simplicity on their website.
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